Kitchen Disaster
by GondorianRose5647
Summary: What happens when you have the Dangerous Duo help you make pies? Oneshot!


Summery: What happens when you have the dangerous duo Merry and Pippin help you make pies?

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTRs if I did I would have Legolas marry me. :-P I do however own Ari, no stealing her!

"Okay, we need three eggs a cup of cream and two cups of some very light ale." Ari said examining the recipe.

"What's it for?" Pippin asked, peering into the bowl Ari had just conjured. Ari sighed and looked at the duo,

"Théoden has a nasty hangover." Merry and Pippin's mouths made a perfect 'o' in understanding.

"Then we should bake pies, for the families, who lost loved ones at Helms Deep." Ari said tying an apron around her thin waist, and gathering the ingredients.

"I like pies." Pippin grinned. Merry patted him on the shoulder,

"'Course you do, Pip." Ari laughed,

"All right you two, here's your aprons put them on and you can help." She said handing them two aprons, they both hesitated,

"Maybe you can even taste the pie filling." she finished. Merry and Pippin couldn't get the aprons on fast enough. Ari bit back her giggle as she watched the two out of the corner of her eye. Once they were finished Ari clapped her hands together once,

"Okay then, I'll get to work on Théoden's drink. I want you two to gather everything on this list for the pies." Ari instructed, bending down to hand Merry a piece of parchment.

"Any questions?" she asked as she stood up right. Pippin raised his hand, Ari nodded, telling him to go on.

"Why does Merry get to hold the list?" he asked innocently. Looking at Merry with jealousy clear in his eyes, Ari chuckled and took the list from Merry and tore it in half. Then gave each hobbit a half,

"There, now you each have a list of items to hunt for, get to it!" Ari said ushering them out of the kitchen.

"Merry, what's flour?" Pippin asked narrowing his eyes upon the parchment. Merry looked over Pippin's shoulder,

"I think that's the stuff women use when they cook. It's very important, I think." Merry answered, and then he returned his gaze to his own list,

"How can you preserve apples?" he asked, to no one in particular.

"We're going to need help with this." Merry said looking up from his list.

"Who are we going to ask?" Pippin asked. Merry thought for a minute before suggesting,

"What about Lady Eowen?"

"Where is she?" Pippin wondered.

"I don't know, Pip."

~An Hour Later~

"Wow, Lady Eowen was really helpful. Now that we have everything on our list, let's go back to the kitchen." Pippin said arms full of ingredients. Merry nodded in agreement, but when they reached the kitchen Ari was no where in sight. They hefted the ingredients onto a table by standing on a stool, and that took ten minutes, and Ari still had not returned.

"You think we should start cooking without her?" Merry asked. Pippin shrugged,

"She did leave that book, she got the recipes from, open." He said glancing at the open book an arm's length away. Merry licked his lips,

"Let's do it." He said pulling the book over.

"But Merry, we don't know how to read!" Pippin exclaimed.

"I know a little bit." Merry said scanning the page, "It says, I think, to put three cups of that flour stuff into a bowl first. We need a bowl, Pippin." He said. Pippin hopped off the stool and grabbed a nearby empty bowl,

"I'll get the cup too." Pippin said, grabbing an empty mug off the table and bringing it over to Merry. Merry nodded,

"Good, now I guess I pour the flour in the cup three times, and dump it in the bowl?"

"It sounds all right to me." Pippin shrugged, stepping up onto the stool again. Merry took a deep breath,

"Okay, Pippin, hold the mug in place while I pour the flour into it." He said exhaling. Pippin took the mug and held it down,

"Ready." said Pippin. Merry lifted the three pound flour pouch and accidentally poured too quickly causing the mug to overfill and spill all over the place. Pippin lifted the mug and dumped it in the bowl,

"Ari won't mind the mess when she sees the pie we made!" Merry commented. Pippin nodded and moved the mug to its previous place, Merry poured the flour again, making even a bigger mess than before, and once again Pippin poured out the flour into the bowl. They repeated this one more time, and successfully, covered the table and themselves with flour. Coughing Merry read the next step aloud,

"Pour two cups of light ale into flour. Well Pip, go fill this mug with ale then bring it back." Merry instructed. Pippin nodded and once again hopped off the stool, walking over to a barrel full of light ale. He slowly turned the stopper, and the ale flowed quickly into the mug, once it was full he popped the stopper back in place and walked back, handing the mug to Merry to pour in the bowl. Merry poured it in; it made a splash and splattered all around the bowl. Then he handed the mug back to Pippin for a refill. This time when Merry poured the ale in, it splashed everywhere, mixing with the flour and making a sticky substance. But that did not stop these two mischief makers, oh no. Merry read out the next line, which was barely visible under the flour,

"Mix the flour and ale, and then fold in two eggs. Fold in? What's that supposed to mean?" Merry said. Pippin hopped up on the stool, a large spoon in hand,

"I guess that means you crack the eggs, and then mix the egg yolks into the batter." Pippin said. Merry looked incredulously at Pippin,

"That's crazy! It just means we fold the whole eggs in with the dough." Merry said. Pippin shook his head in disagreement but said no more,

"I'll go get them." He said walking off. While he was gone, Merry began mixing together the ale and flour, by the time Pippin returned it was as good as it was going to get. Pippin returned with an egg in each hand, Merry took one from him and began to fold it in with his freshly mixed sticky dough. After it had been "folded" in, Merry pounded it and they heard a loud _crack_!

"I told you that wasn't what you were supposed to do!" Pippin protested.

"Give me the other egg, Pip." Merry said ignoring Pippin's protest. Reluctantly Pippin gave it up, and Merry repeated his first gesture. A minute later another _crack_! Was heard,

"All right now, it says to add, a cup and a half of sugar." Merry read. Pippin nodded, grabbed the mug and walked to a sack labeled "Sugar". He dipped the mug in it, and brought it back to Merry who dumped it in the bowl,

"Now, fill it halfway." Merry said handing the mug back.

"I know." Pippin said, taking the mug and returning to the sack, this time filling the mug halfway. After handing Merry the mug he stepped back up on his stool, watching as Merry mixed it together. Merry sighed and looked at the book again,

"Now it says to distribute dough into three different pans. Where-"

"Oh my cinnamon sticks!" Ari shrieked. The twosome jerked their heads towards the door, Ari stood in the doorway on hand leaning on the door post, the other across her chest.

"What in Middle Earth happened in here? The kitchen's a complete mess!" She cried, slowly collecting herself.

"We were making pie." Pippin said casually.

"Pippin!" Merry exclaimed. Ari looked at them sternly,

"Why didn't you wait on me?" she asked.

"Merry thought we'd surprise you." Pippin said slowly. Ari lifted her eyebrow and looked at Merry, she sighed,

"Well, you both are going to clean this up. I'll finish your pies." Ari resolved slowly making her way into the kitchen towards them.

~The End~


End file.
